Endlessly crazy

Kuru sighed and looked down and shook his head. "The Yakuza is more than that...they are my bloodline...have been since my great grandfather was the leader...to have someone else there who knows nothing about what it was really for...it's far more frustrating than you may ever know..." he explained lowly, as his eyes followed Baku with a pained look.

"I was taken from the only world I have ever known, I can only use what I know to get back into a world that I feel safe in...this world of loneliness, even if they hated me, is not for me...I am not the type of person to be able to be alone...I'm dangerous alone...even to myself..."

Baku looked back at him quietly. "I do understand....more then you think I do." he said lowly looking away from him. "I'm done stealing anything....." he sighed though and shook his head. "This is a lot to take in Kuru it's not something I can just up and decide in one night....." and that was the problem if he had to make the call right now it was no, no thank you and to walk away ignoring the gut wrenching pain in his heart. If it was given time to think even a night to think the answer would most likely be different because of the man the answer revolved around.

"I'm not a thief...that part of the Yakuza has long vanished and been replaced with honor...or at least it used to be that way until Jaaku weaseled his way into power and let the humans back into it...now he has turned a blind eye to their wrong doings and left the king to deal with them all..." he explained lowly, but sighed.

"I'm not the leader of a crime organization like it once was...I was once the leader of part of the royal guard..." he told him lowly, as he looked at Baku in sadness.

Baku looked at him quietly not leader of a crime organization but was once leader of the royal guard. He sighed softly. "But nor am I a hero.......I don't know what to think at the moment Kuru......I wish I did..." he said closing his eyes as he looked at the man before him. "Only that there are a lot of innocents caught up in the middle of this....." Innocents who.....only knew Jaaku as there leader and boss. He sighed. Wishing he knew the answer to all of this.....to what to do at the moment but he didn't. "I.....don't know." he didn't know as much as he wished he did, he didn't know what to do at the moment.

"I never asked for a hero...if I did, I'd be looking for someone else..." he told him lowly as he turned and began to walk.

"But in the end, it doesn't matter very much to you, who believes I am some snake in the grass waiting to strike..." he said as he waved over his shoulder. If this was how it was when he opened up his heart to someone, he would never do it again. It hurt too much...

"Innocent blood has already been spilled...I'm here to stop it...if you ever decide for yourself what it is you want, you can find me..."

Baku looked back at him and shook his head. "That's not what causes me to hesitate." finding someone else to play hero. Ouch although he asked for it. Bakuyaku sighed he had asked for time to think to figure out if getting involved with changing the leader of the Yakuza. He shook his head and turned as he began to walk away.

He knew for a certainty that he wanted that man that was walking away he just didn't know if he wanted to the battle to put him back where he said he belonged or to become part of off shoot of the royal guard. the way it was supposed to be but the moment he asked for even one night to think about the taking that on with him to become part of that whole situation since it was impossible to love someone and not become involved.

But a snake in the grass. "I'm not worried about being bitten by a snake in the grass Kuru........." he said as he waved over his shoulder but to have Kuru get soo testy because he said he needed time to think. It wasn't about his feelings for Kuru but rather the whole going in and upsetting the way the Yakzuza worked now. But Baku was known for being a snake charmer...........no his hesitation was on an entirely different reason.

Kuru snorted as he stopped and turned to look at Baku. "Either way it goes, you're not willing to get involved. Even if you were to go with me, you'd never be ready enough for either way the Yakuza will work," he said lowly as his blood red eyes gazed at him.

"Either way it goes, even if I were to ask you to get involved because you love me, you wouldn't..." Kuru said lowly, his voice losing its harsh edge when he said those words.

"If you didn't want to get involved, you should have just let me walk away when you first saw me..." he began lowly as he looked at Baku. "Because once you hear my name and see me once, you've already become involved...want it or not...you're involved with me, one way or another...and the only way to stop it, is to kill me...in one way or the other..."

Baku looked back at him not wanting to get involved, he turned and moved to stand right in front of this vampire who was not only the one he loved but also the one who was driving him freaking insane right now. He looked at him looked into those red eyes before shaking his head. "I don't want to get involved in because I've already lost someone I care about to shit like 'dis, and I won't be able to watch as the one person I love gets caught up in the middle of shit like 'dis as well Kurutta..........I'm not worried about being bitten by you Kurutta and I'll deal with the shit as it comes............But I'm don't know if I'm ready to watch to help fight for something like 'dis and watch as it nearly or completely takes someone else I care about only 'dis time Kurutta, it won' t be a dear friend but the one person in 'dis world that I love...........I can't make that choice in an instant no matter how much you want me to." He shook his head to be involved in something like this again he had gotten into a guild fight back home different reasons but the result was painful.

Baku walked away from him shaking his haed. "I love you but I can't just decide to jump in, if that means you believe that when I have time to think and change my mind I won't be ready then............then that's your belief Mon Ame....."

Kuru closed his eyes and shook his head, bringing his hands up and holding his head as if it hurt, and in truth it did hurt, but it was his heart that hurt, not his head.

"Stop! Just stop!" he screamed, as he shook his head, trying to make the words go away. "You know what I believe...you don't even know why I'm so angry..." he whispered lowly as he finally stopped shaking his head and holding it as if it was hurting.

"You don't know what he's done...to make me so angry, so cold inside..."

Baku all but sighed and shook his head. He knew where he needed to go, what he needed to do and more importantly who he needed to talk to now and figure out what was going on. Because now he could no longer ignore the situation and leave him to clean up the messes he made.....he could not longer turn a blind eye to it and let him be. This was a mess and it was dragging him into it even if he didn't want to be drug into it. It didn't seem he had much of a choice in the matter.

"Your right I don't know what he's done." he turned to walk away he couldn't just up and decide at the moment to join with Kurutta because it would be betraying another in the worst way possible and the problem was he had fallen in love with upon sight what seemed to be the enemy of the other just what sort of mess was he caught up in now and to think he left New Orleans to get away from all of this perhaps it would have been better to stay there.

Baku sighed as he turned. "Your right I have absolutely no idea just what all he's done but you have no idea what your asking me to decide now.....either Mon Ame....no idea at all........" Baku said as he turned to walk away or the pain he hide behind the calm exterior............why did things have to turn out this way why did they have to get this complicated all the sudden...........why couldn't things stay simple and clean? Was that to much to ask being a vampire? Was it too much to ask at all........and to think he was a good kid at one time where on earth did he go so very wrong?

Kuru shook his head as he felt the tears start to sting his eyes. "If only I would have been killed..." he said lowly as he moved, starting the long, painful and silent walk back home.

"I would rather he had killed me...feeling like this isn't worth it..." he said lowly as he walked along.

Baku though was pissed beyond belief because this hurt, as he heard felt Kuru walk away it hurt more then words could possibly say because of how very torn he felt at the moment. He turned and began walking the sound of his metal boots sounding like gunshots in his ears and stabbing him right through the heart. He had one place in mind to go, only one right now and some answers to get.........like why and how this was happening at all.

Bakuyaku walked his heart heavy with sorrow as each step felt like twenty and it was not a walk he wanted to make not like this. But he had a pretty good idea of where to find Jaaku. Of where to go to get answers. He didn't know what Jaaku was thinking when he started all of this but he did know that right now.......one might as well tear his heart out of his chest for as bad as it hurt right now. "Dam it you stupid little shit.........just what did you do now?" he growled to himself.

Jaaku looked down at him, his cousin finally coming to pay him a visit. Which could only mean one thing...he wanted the truth...

"I can tell you, but i doubt you'd be happy with me...." he answered him as he leaned against the railing of the stairs that lead up to his private office.

"You won't be happy with the way I acted back then...so why ask me if you already know you don't really want to hear it?" Jaaku mused lowly, looking at Baku.

Baku looked at Jaaku and shook his head. "Well move your ass up the stairs because wither or not I'm going to like what you have to say I'm going to hear it." Baku said narrowing his eyes as he looked at his cousin for him to be warning him it was that bad right now was not a good thing. In fact he pretty much knew he didn't want to hear it but at the moment he had to.

"Since whatever mess you've gone and created for yourself has found it's way into my lap." he said as he walked up the stairs towards him, towards Jaaku certain he would be very angry with whatever it was his cousin had up and done then. But that mess involved Kurutta Hitogoroshi who also happened to be Bakuyaku's one and only and among vampire's there was no other and they knew it right away which meant he had the misfortune of being caught between his cousin and the one he was meant to be with and had just hurt the one he was meant to be with which was not a good way to start out.